The last first days of school …

I never expected to be able to do this again. I thought I had already done my last first days of school when Ells was little. Days I loathed because I always felt like someone else was benefiting from the best of her, and I was left with an over tired, over stimulated beast when she got home. It wasn’t fun for me, and I wanted them over with. Silly and probably utterly selfish, but when you’re a single mother having to play all the roles, I needed her to be as independent as possible for my own sanity and […]

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Getting in the frame …

One of the things I noticed most after my dad passed away was the fact that we had so few photographs of him with us. Yes we had them from when we were younger, but as we got older and had our own children, there were significantly less images of my dad with us. I was most upset at the thought of not having one of him holding our baby boy, because we had one of him holding Ells. During that time of grief, we all realised the importance of getting in the frame with our kids.   I have […]

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Postnatal Depression, the first time around …

Postnatal Depression

I can honestly say pregnancy was more difficult than labour for me. Pelvic girdle pain, hyper emesis, weight loss, anxiety and not once feeling that ‘pregnancy glow’ kind of made the whole thing suck. I was 22 when I was pregnant with Ells, young, naïve and utterly unprepared for motherhood. The end of the relationship with her bio dad a few weeks before birth made things all the more emotionally exhausting. I was terrified and on my own. It’s little wonder I ended up with postnatal depression. My Mum was my birthing partner, and at that point in my life […]

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A Letter to My Birthday Girl …

My beautiful Birthday Girl, Ells, I cannot believe you are 14 years old. Where did the time go? It seems like only yesterday when the midwife placed you in my arms, all 7lbs 6oz of you. Your eyes were deep blue, skin a little jaundiced but perfect and unmistakeably mine. You were forward even then, rolling over from birth and eager to take in all the sights. You had everyone who laid on eyes on you wrapped around your tiny little finger, and I am pretty sure you knew it too. It was a rough beginning. An absent father, and […]

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School places and the waiting game …

School Places

There have been loads of posts about littles and school places, and in the most part everyone had had the school they wanted. We are still playing the waiting game. We were delayed in submitting our application for schools at the request of the PreSchool Forum, they are early years help for children who will need extra help transitioning to a more formal school setting. The delay means we are still waiting for the second round of allocations to happen at the beginning of May. I’m not going to lie, I am not the most patient person and this waiting […]

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{Family Day} Easter Monday 2017 …

Easter Monday is always a last minute ‘what are we going to do?’ ordeal, but this year I wanted to get ahead of the game and actually plan something. We live a stone’s throw away from a few National Trust sites, and we have probably been to one in the 7-8 years of living in the area. With a family of 7 we have always put it down to being too expensive, and never bothered to even look at the membership options. My sister on the other hand has had a membership for her family of 6 for a while […]

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Surviving the Easter Holidays …

The Easter Holidays are a bit of a weird affair. It marks the end of Spring term and the start of Summer term. It is invariable at different fortnightly intervals across the UK, making the planning of meeting up with family near and far a pigging nightmare! Here is how we survive the Easter Holidays with a teen & a pre-schooler: 1. Let Them Pick Every week we do a meal plan and shopping list. It is a total pain in the backside sometimes to decide on 7 meals that everyone will enjoy. So to make life easier I let […]

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One down …

One down. I am still digesting the conversation from Tuesday. It is a conversation nearly 3 years in the making and it made me need to take a seat. Anyone who has gone through Umbrella Pathways will tell you it is not an easy route. It is a long exhausting process and you will need to fight on behalf of your child. You may well have to go toe to toe with a GP to get a referral sent, you will definitely know everyone’s names and direct numbers, and they may even sigh when you call yet again. But Tuesday’s […]

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Lily and the feathers …

Mother’s Day is a bitter sweet day for us. Sweet in that we get to make memories with our children, eat great food and spend quality time together. Bitter in that there are children who aren’t with us. Little ones gone too soon that we never got to meet, that we never got to see grow. My gift from my husband and children this year was just perfect. Being a Mummy to 2 rainbow babies means there are babies we never got to meet. I always think of them around Mother’s Day, what they would have looked like, what little […]

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Mother’s Day ’17 …

The one thing I had asked for Mother’s Day this year was not to have to raise my voice. I will have to wait till next year for that one! The loss of an hour, the rush for church, and the usual ‘get your Doodles on!’ slightly manic shout as we all hurried out the door saw shot of that hope.   Anyway, after a morning at church wishing all the Mummies a happy Mother’s Day, we made our way home for some light lunch with my own Mum. She has a penchant for fine bone china cups, and I […]

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