It is ridiculous. When I say it out loud it sounds even more ridiculous. I berate myself so often with what are you worried about weirdo, there is nothing to be anxious about just pull yourself together. And yet there I am, cemented to the spot, trembling, short of breath like someone’s choking me. In all honest something is choking me and it’s called anxiety.
I love flowers. Phil knows it, my kids know it and so does anyone who follows me on Instagram! My absolute favourite florals are roses, and when Prestige Flowers offered to send me a surprise Mother’s Day bouquet I positively bit their hands off! I mean who doesn’t love getting flowers delivered to their door?
Our tree has a basic theme of green tree with gold and red baubles on it. Simple, with 2 sets of lights and some gold/silver bushy tinsel wrapping the centre of the tree for extra sparkle. For Phil we could leave it there and he would be happy. However we have one simple Christmas tradition that has caused our tree to become the most spectacular cacophony of ornaments, leaving the theme of green, red and gold somewhat engulfed!
I love Christmas, but Winter and I have a love/hate relationship. Having had the flu several years in a row I am all about beating winter time bugs, especially in the kiddos. Snotty noses are part and parcel of winter, mainly unavoidable as little noses flit from central heating to the colder fresh air of the outdoors.
However we can do some little things to help give our smalls a healthy boost and hopefully keep them relatively healthy this season.
I never expected to be able to do this again. I thought I had already done my last first days of school when Ells was little. Days I loathed because I always felt like someone else was benefiting from the best of her, and I was left with an over tired, over stimulated beast when she got home.
One of the things I noticed most after my dad passed away was the fact that we had so few photographs of him with us. Yes we had them from when we were younger, but as we got older and had our own children, there were significantly less images of my dad with us.
I can honestly say pregnancy was more difficult than labour for me. Pelvic girdle pain, hyper emesis, weight loss, anxiety and not once feeling that ‘pregnancy glow’ kind of made the whole thing suck. I was 22 when I was pregnant with Ells, young, naïve and utterly unprepared for motherhood.
My beautiful Birthday Girl, Ells,
I cannot believe you are 14 years old. Where did the time go?
It seems like only yesterday when the midwife placed you in my arms, all 7lbs 6oz of you. Your eyes were deep blue, skin a little jaundiced but perfect and unmistakeably mine.