I haven’t blogged in a while, mainly because the summer holidays have been somewhat flat out. And so I thought I might share a little update about PCOS, Mirena and other things that have been going down in the household over the past few weeks.
PCOS
A little back story first. I was diagnosed with Poly-Cystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) a good few years ago now. It causes infertility, amongst a myriad of other issues, and why we struggled to conceive our youngest without intervention. Anyway, a couple of the other lovely side effects of PCOS is weight gain, hirsutism (hair growing out your chinny chin chin amongst other places), ovaries that look like bunches of grapes, insulin resistance and some of the worst periods known to woman kind, next to endometriosis.
I have struggled with my menstrual cycle since my teens and was told by GP not to hold out too much hope for children, and to get used to it as this was my lot in life. And for the last 20+ years I have ‘lived with it’. The erratic nature of my cycle let alone the heaviness and at times debilitating pain of these almost 2 week periods slowly took its toll on my mental health. Surely that had to be something that would help save me from these horrific recurring incidences most moths?
Mirena
When a GP finally took my plea for help seriously, I was referred to a gynaecologist. In hindsight I wish I had asked her to refer me to an endometriologist as they specialise in the womb only instead. However I may have to wait and see if I can get a referral at a later date. Back to the gynaecologist, he wanted me to try the Mirena coil, which I will be honest I wasn’t exactly happy about. The idea of something artificial being implanted didn’t make me feel very happy and he was dead set against going straight in for endometrial oblation, which is where they basically scar the womb lining so badly it doesn’t grow anymore essentially permanently sterilising you.
Now I have had successfully birthed two babies and that is me done. I know I don’t want anymore, and at nearly 40 there is nothing worse I could think of than having a baby. I am done. New babies are cute but the aching ovaries thing doesn’t happen, there’s no broodiness happening, I smile, cuddle and hand back. It is swift and vaguely emotionless in all honesty. I love my kids but the thought of enduring another pregnancy makes my blood run cold! Plus the husband had a vasectomy so I don’t get what the issue is with doing the procedure but still.
After a long chat about, a talk with a consultant or two later I consented to having the Mirena. And this is where it all goes a bit wrong. The appointment was horrific. There are no words to describe it other than horrific. The gynaecologist needed to do a hysteroscopy so she could take a biopsy and as a fellow woman you’d have expected her to be gentle right? I have never wished there was a dudes head between my knees more than on that day. She was rough! She hurt me, and I don’t mean a little bit either.
The Nurses started getting worried and asking progressively louder if I was ok, which I wasn’t, but that didn’t stop rough boots for a second. It wasn’t until she had finished and I nearly fainted that she realised what she had done. The Nurses were so worried they gave me the direct numbers for emergency gynaecology in case I passed out or had issues when I got home.
Since then it has pretty much been down hill for the last three weeks.
I have been too exhausted to do pretty much anything once I have gotten home from work. The pain in my abdomen, the constant bleeding which still has not stopped and insomnia are all slowly but surely wearing me out. My GP has tried to help with medications which haven’t done a thing to stop the bleeding. He has now booked me in for an emergency scan as they want to make sure the Mirena hasn’t perforated my womb, oh joy! But as with all things I have to wait another week for that to happen. In the meantime I am having to be so careful what I do so I don’t contribute to the pain that is already there.
Which let’s face it is nigh on impossible when you’ve a 5 year old boy climbing the walls at home because he isn’t coping so well with the changes in routine after finishing school for the summer!
I know for some women the Mirena has been a life saver, they have no more periods or hormonal peaks and troughs, they have taken to it like a duck to water. I wish I could say I was having the same experience, but all I want is for them to take the damn thing out. Next Wednesday I will have been bleeding for a full 4 weeks, and the recommendation is that you try to hang it out for 3 – 6 months to see how you get on. I already know I want it out. I would happily endure 7-10 days a month over this any day of the week.
Isn’t it funny how the professionals also start spewing out the ‘well one in three women usually end up having to have it removed because they are incompatible’. Telling me that beforehand when I am already the one in five with PCOS and the one in a hundred thousand with IIh would have made a pretty big difference, you know??
And other things
I am still on a journey with fashion and finding my personal style. I also uploaded a speed clean with me video to YouTube which you can find right here. There is a big red suitcase in my living room which is slowly being filled for our much awaited summer holiday (although it appears we missed the boat on the really good weather!), which will feature sweatshirts and parka jackets! What else?? My day job is going great storms and to be honest I think I finally found something I am not only good at but thoroughly enjoy. Sure it has it’s tough days, but I am loving learning about my own strengths and how I can use them to help the members of my Team. I feel like I have found my place, and for that I am so grateful.
On the family front, I am waiting to for my friends baby to arrive in the next 5 weeks or so. Ells has come on great guns, encountering some really stressful scenarios without reacting in a self-destructive way. For me it is wonderful to be able to see just how far she has come in her own mental health journey and that she will be just fine as she grows older. As for Cal, he is positively feral of late but already starting to talk about going back to school and his new year one teacher. Again the difference in this boy from the beginning of the year to now is dramatic. He is excited to go to back to school and that makes my heart happy!
Finally Phil is ready for his holiday, and more than that I think he is finally ready to look into a new chapter for himself too. I can’t share much on it as it really isn’t my story to tell but I am already so proud that he wants to start this particular journey as it will change things for all of us going forward.
And that’s it! A not so little life update, and not the happiest one for the most part but hey ho. Life isn’t all roses and rainbows, sometimes it is a bit rubbish, but I really believe it is the crappy days that help us appreciate the great days a little more. So bring it on I say, because something great is lurking just round the corner!
Whatever you are up to, have a great day and thanks for stopping by to read my waffle. I appreciate it!
Sophie xx
