As a ‘fixer’ I am the first one making action plans in a crisis and whilst that is a gift in and of itself, it can also be a bit of a curse. Ultimately it leaves me feeling drained, empty and not in a good way. I am so busy fixing for everyone else that I forget myself and wonder why insomnia has returned or that gut churning anxiety that has me feeling on the edge of tragedy for days on end. It is a vicious cycle I throw myself into in the name of love and helping others, all the while sacrificing my own needs for slowing down, isolation, recovery and restoration of my heart and spirit.
It is ironic that on a mummies weekend retreat just last month, one I co-hosted, we shared the importance of being still. I have been vomit catching ever since with our youngest and am reaching the end of myself rapidly. I mean there are only so many times you can cup your hand under a childs mouth in a single week and still be sane at the end of it! Throw in daily life with a teen, a husband and a part time job and I think this week has been anything but still!
I am seriously craving the stillness of the forest where I spent the most amazing few days with 16 other ladies. A few said they had rediscovered themselves and I have to agree, for a short time not being needed felt amazing, like I had time to just be me and not the juggler of many hats! It’s amazing how the things we share come back to challenge us though, as if to make sure we were listening to our own advice. Gotta laugh really haven’t you? I mean if you didn’t you would weep whilst rocking in the corner of the room wouldn’t you?
Anyway, whilst being dribbled on by a sweaty little angel this morning I came upon the loveliest of posts by Caroline over at Carter family 4. She shared a post called ‘A could-do list’ and I felt positively serene whilst reading through it. Her tone in written word is so soothing, and I have already re-read the post several times! It was a timely word from a gentle friend to take a few minutes and breathe. To think about some things that would help me focus on the simplest of pleasures in life that would help me be still every now and then in a thoughtful and self-loving way.
It has taken me all day to think of my own, because when you are always looking for others to help it is so incredibly hard to divert that focus upon ourselves even briefly. But I have persevered in between poorly child naps, because being still is so important in this ever on demand world. Keep it simple stupid, I need reminding of this every day lately!
And so here is my ‘could-do’ list for February:
Appreciate the quiet moments
Walk outdoors in the sunshine
Sit in a café & read a book
Take photographs & trust my vision
Count my blessings
Make time for a little self-love
It is a simple list of things that mean something to me, and that’s all it needs to be. It isn’t the first list I made by a long shot; I’m too used to creating those bloomin ‘to-do’ lists aren’t I?! But as my ‘could-do’ list goes I think with practice I will become freer with it.
For now though I am going to take five minutes to just breathe, be still, slow down and recharge myself before the weekend begins.
Have a lovely weekend,
Sophie x
I love that I inspired you to write this list and could be of some help to you. I am too a fixer but my blog keeps me grounded and really helps me focus on my own needs too xxx
Same! I find my blog so useful for refocusing and decluttering my busy mind. Oh the joys of being a fixer haha xx
I love the idea of a could-do-list. I’ve been trying to use a bullet journal to plan all sorts of activities and I find lumping them together stressful. I’ve been pondering ‘to-do’ and ‘want-to-do’. While to-do may seem more important I think mixing in your could-do as well is very important to achieve more to-do’s. 😛
My To-do list always goes on our white board in the kitchen, mainly because then I can make a cuppa while I assess the damage haha. But i think I need that separation of the two lists so I can dip in and out rather than feeling like I have to do all that too, you know? Xx
What a lovely post and know so much how you feel. Great idea think this is one I will be trying x
That’s great Sarah, let me know what you put on yours. You may inspire me right back 🙂 xx
I am with you here , coming to the end of a house full of Ill people , really takes it out of you. I like the idea of a gentle list rather than the usual Things I absolutely must do despite not wanting to do any of them list!
Ah yes, the dreaded lurgies, and we still recovering from them! When I first saw this idea I fell in love with it and as soon as all the kiddos are fighting fit and back to school I am heading out solo for some much needed like to do stuff, the must do stuff can wait a day or two 😉 x
This is a great post. I know what you mean by being still and slowing down. I really like the idea of a ‘could do’ list. I would love to sit in cafe’s more and read a book. Also would love to go for quite walks too.
I am a naturally shy person and so whilst I love being alone at home I find doing things solo outside a bit intimidating. Sitting in a cafe reading a book is a pretty good place to start and it means you can go at your own pace, not someone esles for a change haha x
I totally agree. I think it’s easy to forget to look after yourself. I’m planning more quiet calm time over the next few weeks too 🙂
It is so important we get time to recharge ourselves isn’t it Jo? I know that for me as an introvert I get quickly drained by people and end up with nothing left. Let me know how you get on with it 😉 x
I made it my New Year’s resolution to count my blessings, I don’t do it often enough x
Love that idea, was considering doing a blessings jar for everyone to add to it throughout the year. May start it for Valentines or Easter yet x
Lovely idea to do a “could-do” list. I will have to put one together of my own.
Would love to know what you put in your Sarah, think they are such a great thing to share and prompt each other to take a little time out! xx
With how crazy the world is these days a touch of simplicity is always awesome. Your list reflects the things I wish I took more time to do., #motivation
Aw thanks Erica, and yes make time to do some of these things! xx
Ooo I love the idea of a “could-do” list – so much more practical and forgiving than a “to-do” list. Great idea.
And congratulations because someone loved this post so much, they added it to the BlogCrush linky! Feel free to collect your “I’ve been featured” blog badge 🙂 #blogcrush
Thank you so much for letting me know and for popping by to have a read really appreciate it xx
[…] past few months have been intense. Like really intense. I wrote a could do list a few months back and to be honest is kind of got lost a little in the chaos of the ‘to […]