Mother’s Day is a bitter sweet day for us. Sweet in that we get to make memories with our children, eat great food and spend quality time together. Bitter in that there are children who aren’t with us. Little ones gone too soon that we never got to meet, that we never got to see grow.

My gift from my husband and children this year was just perfect.

Being a Mummy to 2 rainbow babies means there are babies we never got to meet. I always think of them around Mother’s Day, what they would have looked like, what little characters they would be. I know that one day we will meet them, my faith gives me that comfort, but there is always a little pang in my heart that we never got to hold them.

One of our little ones both Mr J and I had dreams, heavenly visions I suppose, after we lost her. I say her because we both dreamt about a giggly little white haired girl sitting near a stream surrounded by lily of the valley. We never saw her face, just her hair blowing in the breeze. We were both so devastated after we lost her, an early loss at the start of us trying for a baby. It hurt us so desperately at the time and this dream brought us a wonderful sense of comfort, reassurance and healing. We believe it was a gentle whisper from God letting us know she was safe, with Him, waiting for us.

We called her Lily and said our prayers of thanks that we were blessed with the assurance of where she was, knowing we would one day meet her and hold her, along with our other lost babies.

So my perfect Mother’s Day gift included all my children, Ells, Cal, Lily and the feathers. They will be held close to my heart always.

I am not sad anymore. I rejoice in the children here with me and have hope of meeting the three that aren’t.

They all know Mummy loves them, and that is all that matters.

Sophie x

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