When we were little my Mum never got us a chocolate advent. December 1st saw the three of us deciding whos turn it was to open the first door on a card advent calendar, there was always an argument as to who went first and lots of finger counting to see how many doors we would each get to open. The calendar was always shared between the three of us.
Do you ever have those days when you feel like you’ve been holding your breath all day? You get to the evening, dinner and bedtimes have been done, you slump into your favourite chair and breathe out like you’ve been waiting to do it all day. Sometimes you can reach the end of the week feeling like you’ve been holding one breath in for 5 days and finally the weekend is here and you can exhale at last.
Last week we sang Oceans, and whilst it isn’t my favourite (and yes I may have groaned inside and rolled my eyes like a petulant teenager) the words were necessary for so many of us. I felt the Holy Spirit fall over us like a soft blanket, and for many I felt they were held by Him for a moment, that their stormy waters were calmed.
Half way through September already. How’d that happen? Feels like it was only a few weeks ago I had paid the deposit for our holibobs and yet here we are a couple weeks post jolly and feeling a bit blue.
I hate the post holiday blues, however this year they’ve been quelled slightly by the fact I’ve already booked next years. We’ve not been in a position to do that before and it was great!
We took my Mum with us on holiday this year, and we made the most of it. I gave her a weeks notice for babysitting and the hubby and I got on our glad rags and headed out for some much needed couple time. We walked almost the length of the waterfront trying to find somewhere to eat. The first place we stopped out was a no go. Firstly it was empty, secondly there was a dog in the main restaurant.
Sometimes making memories isn’t pretty. At the time you feel aghast and dumbfounded, there are literally no words that pass your lips other than “I am so sorry!” When the dust has settled though you are able to laugh and set it aside as ‘one to tell the grandkids’.
At the beginning of this year we were battling red numbers on bank accounts and a seeming never ending bombardment of unexpected bills.
We had prayed for good weather, and we got a pretty good deal. Warm, with low winds and no rain in sight. It took us a couple hours to reach or destination, a meal in celebration of my sister and brother-in-laws anniversary and the opportunity to gather as one huge family – albeit with a few missing unavoidably, but always on our minds and in our thoughts. Conservative celebrations with the niggle high tide appointments.
This one post has been written and rewritten more times than I care to count, almost impossibly hard to write. The words have become stuck in my throat, choking me as I try to expel the reality of where we are. I have had people question our motives, or belittle the situation to a flippant and cliché remark. Still we live with this every day and only now are others beginning to respond and see that we need help.